I've Made This For You #1


Presenting "I've Made This For You," an ongoing feature where one of our staff curates a playlist for another. Here, Zach curates a playlist of the preeminent anti-Luke genre: twee. 

The idea began simply enough: make "starter pack" playlists to introduce Osmosis Tones' fellow writers to artists/genres they otherwise wouldn't be listening to. To add a lil' pizzazz, I thought it'd be cool to write first reactions while listening to the playlists in one go. I ran this idea by Luke (an excellent test subject), and he was all for it. I initially wanted to make a quick emo primer on all the band's I think he would find worthwhile in the current DIY-sphere.


 Then came this response...


 ...and I immediately knew I had the responsibility of sending Luke to his personal hell. 

 Twee is essentially "bubblegum punk," or even more general terms, the cute n' soft side of indie rock. It's key characteristics are jangly guitar leads, simple song structures, lo-fi production, quaint to innocent vocals and understated melodies. The best introduction to the genre is the famous C86 compilation, released by NME in May 1986, that featured such acts as Primal Scream, The Mighty Lemon Drops and Close Lobsters. These bands became the progenitors of the sub-genre, and subsequent groups (some of which are down below) perfected the style. Some of the many groups with this sound I recommend include Alvvays, Hurry and Literature.  

 While I'm all for twee (being the paisley flower boy that I am), Luke has far less of a tolerance for anything cutesy-tootsy. Other than cats, none of what Luke enjoys could be considered "twee." With him going in completely blind, I came to three conclusions:
  1. Fuck with him.
  2. Make him suffer.
  3. Try and include some songs that will make him want to dive deeper
To be fair, not all of the artists featured here are "authentic" twee. Some of the artists included are more or less here because their vocal-stylings are Luke's kryptonite. That being said, everything here could qualify as twee influenced in some regard, or at least exhibit a similar ethos. I've included an italicized description of my intent with each song before Luke's thoughts. And away we go...


Zach Zollo, what have you gotten me into. I have zero idea what any of these songs are, all you’ve done is give me the blind descriptor of “twee.” I’m 26 and my concept of indie rock is still Broken Social Scene and Pinback. The only twee I know is the Dorchester-townie favorite Twisted Tea. Anywho, Zach says I need to get out of my dissonant angry element and enjoy some “Gen Z bops.” Let’s go.

1. “Orange Juice” - Stanley Brinks & The Wave Pictures



“Orange Juice” is one of my favorite songs of all time. It’s the perfect pairing of humor with nihilism, a hysterically cynical anthem of how self-medication gets one man through the world he is alienated from. That being said, I know Brinks’ voice - a teetering, nasally vibrato - would be something that would test Luke’s patience. Let’s find out. 

Okay, this song is a doozy. This dude cannot sing. Like, I’m a shitty vocalist, but damn, this dude sounds like he swallowed a vibrator. I like the soul progression, and the recording sounds very warm. It’s a little throwback, and I’m not fully hating this. The little solo embellishments are super cutesy and add a bunch. The song is definitely catchy, and the refrain “the radio sucks balls” is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. I don’t think I’ll go back to this, but it’s for sure memorable. 

2. “Superboy and Supergirl” - Tullycraft



You may know Tullycraft as being the quintessential twee group, or maybe you heard this song in The End Of The F***ing World. Either way, Luke has no idea who they are, and is in for a treat...

GET BEHIND ME SATAN. Passing a kidney stone is a more euphoric experience than listening to this song. First off, this song is recorded and mixed like shit. I can definitely get down with some awfully recorded indie (Swirlies are one of my favorite bands ever). But THIS is unacceptable. The guitars sound like distorted lion yawns, and the flubbery clipping bass is way too loud, becoming so unpleasant. The tune fucking sucks, this sounds like the Pixies minus all the magic and anything catchy. I legitimately have a headache from listening to this and all the awful layers of muddy sound. I don’t know what they are going for, but they remind me of every party DIY band that people pretend to like. There is nothing compelling about this and you end up feeling like they’re fucking entitled pricks. God damnit Zach, I’m not letting you get to me. 

3. “Beatnik Boy” - Talulah Gosh



Talulah Gosh are the perfect slice of the ethereal, female-fronted jangle from the mid-to-late 80s. Perhaps with Luke being a fan of Bjork, this song will be more tolerable. That, or he’ll tap out now.

This sounds like a medieval jester attempting to court a princess. It’s super histrionic and positive, which is wicked annoying. The sha-la-la vocal refrain is always going to be a face palm. I do dig the country hoedown drums, and some of the guitar work is fantastic. I think some of the vocal layers are tastefully done, especially with the harmonies during the end. At least it’s better than “Superboy.”

4. “Cowtown” - They Might Be Giants



The quirkiest absurdists this side of Frank Zappa, They Might Be Giants are one of my favorite groups, but their vocals are the definition of niche. I chose “Cowtown” off of their second (and best) record, Lincoln, in an attempt to make Luke cry for normalcy.

Yo this fucking SLAPS kid, god damnit. I love this honking clarinet melody, it reminds me of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by the Proclaimers. It’s so anthemic. The dissonant crunchy guitars are so out of place, they sound like they’re off of Swans’ second album Cop. I love this experimentation. It’s quirky as fuck and uplifting. Every aspect of the experimentation pans out for some reason, including the amazing steel drum melody. This is like the String Cheese Incident if they weren’t fucking loser hippies. I’m for sure getting into this band stat, I don’t know why I wrote this off. 

5. “Landlocked State” - Teenage Cool Kids



I love Parquet Courts. Luke, who refers to them as “The Red Hot Silly Peppers,” does not. Part of the reason why is his distaste for A. Savage’s vocals. So I decided to see if giving him a Teenage Cool Kids song - Savage’s tamer, alt-country spiced former band - would be as much of an assault on his eardrums. 

This is a really nice song. I love his juvenile baritone voice, it reminds me of Spencer Radcliffe. Except this is a fun, soulful throwback with some really nice call-and-responses in the chorus and indie guitars towards the end. Wicked catchy melody and super DIY. I feel like this is what “Orange Juice” was going for, but failed to achieve this level of songwriting and aesthetic. The ending is a great distorted dynamic that tastefully shows some Beach Boys influenced vocals. I also dig that broken-ass guitar lead towards the end. Zach, you’re really picking this up for me. 

6. “Two Characters In Search of a Country Song” - The Magnetic Fields




The Magnetic Fields are one of the most conceptually ambitious indie bands to ever make music (see: 69 Love Songs, Distortion, 50 Song Memoir). I chose my favorite song from their record The Charm of the Highway Strip to try and wean Luke into the synthier side of twee. 

This is just really boring. The vocals are drab and it’s way too hazy. Some of the percussive background elements are really cool, but the tune at the core is not interesting. I’m just kinda zoning out and don’t see how a song like this could make it past the drawing board. No dynamic changes, no melody or chord change up, drab drab drab. 

7. “Your Cover’s Blown” - Belle and Sebastian



I once overheard Luke call Belle and Sebastian awful, and I know for a fact that a majority of their music would not appeal to him. However, as an attempted judo move, I chose “Your Cover’s Blown” to see if the dance and funk-rock fusion would make him reconsider his feelings. 

I dig this beat and this cowbell fucks hard. This is super danceable. This bassline is super The Fragile-era Nine Inch Nails, why is this so creepy but danceable? This is so fucking funky and fun. I feel like I’m dancing wine drunk and I’m literally sober in bed scratching myself and yawning. The chorus is super great with a minor chord switch up. The guitars are Frusciante-esque but it’s a nice switch up. This band has their own lane for sure, while respecting funk, disco and indie. This fucking rules. The double-time post-punk bridge is noteworthy too, taking an amazing “Paint It Black”-esque melody and using thoughtful guitar phrases and background organ to keep you on your toes. Fuck yes. 

8. “Meet Me In The Garden” - Dent May



While not often in my rotation outside of Christmastime (see: “I’ll Be Stoned For Christmas”), Dent May’s debut album is a great indie pop record inspired by vintage psychedelia, twee and power pop. “Meet Me In The Garden” is May’s most well-known/acclaimed song, so I wanted to gauge Luke's thoughts.

I really like this Dido-ass synth in the beginning. But Jesus, this is super wimpy white boy soul. Is twee just gentrified soul music? The singer does his best job to hit Freddie Mercury notes and can’t really do it. However, I love the instrumental breaks in this song, it makes it more detailed. I don’t know, it’s definitely not my thing but it’s a bit freaky which I’m down with. 

9. “Mallory” - The History of Apple Pie



The History of Apple Pie released the under-appreciated Out of View back in 2013. What makes the album distinct for shoegaze leaning dream pop are its vocals, what feel like a combination of Carly Rae Jepsen’s range and (the virtual) Hatsune Miku’s timbre. I'm honestly not sure what Luke will think.

For some power pop, this rips. Great guitar lead and chord progression. Also this band name is great, I honestly wonder how someone decided to bake an apple pie. Vocals are super cutesy and strongly remind me of the Swirlies. This is so chilled out and has a great vibe. I’m genuinely happy right now and I literally got yelled at for 10 hours by clients at work. Also: the sudden stop? YES. This is super up my alley for some reason, I think this might be tied with They Might Be Giants for my favorite song here. 

10. “We’re So DIY!” - Math and Physics Club



Any self-referential song about being DIY is going to upset Luke. Might as well end the playlist off with something he's guaranteed to hate! 

What, in the FUCK, is this Lifetime post-rock instrumental delay lead. This song fucking sucks, I don’t find it tongue-in-cheek or funny at all. They just sound like DIY bros, even when they try and make fun of it. There’s no way you could write this song and not be a DIY bro striving for generic, irony-laden lo-fi indie songs to play across a sea of white geriatric FILAs and oversized relaxed-fit jeans in some basement in Philly. Some of the background vocals are cool, but this is just stupid. 

FINAL VERDICT


Zach, I survived. Honesty, it was ½ really enjoyable and ⅓ crippling hell. I don’t think I like twee or even understand twee. After all, everyone born in ‘93 like myself only knows Pearl Jam, 2000s post-punk revival, skinny jean and V-neck combos, last.fm, eat hot chip and lie.

I’m up next, and you know I’m making you a fucking playlist.

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